If you are successful, why aren't you happy?

Start feeling happy while winning at work

Feb 16, 2024

“Happiness is for later.” A common theme I observe amongst overachievers.

Some also say, “I can’t be happy as I want to be successful.” They worry that if they get too happy they’ll lose their will to work hard.

Can you get (or remain) happy while winning at work?

Generally, when you are more successful, you start to see beyond the usual daily life. You start pointing out the potential pitfalls and failures. Your success fuels you to start actively manipulating the natural course of life. You start designing your own traffic lights. Those overly passionate about success often communicate in cynical ways.

It’s OK to not want to be happy momentarily when you are at the cusp of a breakthrough at work or business. But let’s rethink how you can increase your happiness without significantly lowering your drive to succeed.

You are unhappy partially because you know and understand too much. You’ve been exposed to too much. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be happy and retain your success at work.

What I come across every week while discreetly mentoring on Reddit…

Happiness is a skill you can develop

We focus on acknowledgment as the first step in so many areas of our lives. Happiness needs this too - the first step to increasing your level of happiness is acknowledging you can. This is where a lot of people will give up. For most people, some of their happiness is in their control.

This step is not easy. You might be stuck on this for a long time. Many people believe that happiness cannot be developed or changed, so they devalue it. They keep believing they don’t want to be happy, which shuts door no.1 to happiness.

Happiness is a skill like reading or working out at the gym.

Happiness is a skill you identify and develop that slowly gives you results as you get better at it.
-Naval

Over-thinking is a curse and a blessing

I have always been an over-thinker. Until 2021, I accounted for it as a curse. Something that stopped me from moving ahead at work and at play. But later, things changed when I started using over-thinking as a tool to help me make constructive decisions. In fact, overthinking led me to writing. And writing eventually led me to finding a new career. A happier career.

I believe most people who consider themselves even moderately smart or successful at work, are some version of over-thinkers. And that’s a good thing. Changing how we adapt our over-thinking helps us look at the truth better, clearer, and faster. The more you dig into the truths, the freer and more peaceful you will become. That peace will lead to happiness.

Trust your ‘high energy’ experiences

What gives you the most energy? Be on the lookout for what energises you vs. what drains you.

Some experiences that energise me:

Conversations with those smarter than me
Working out every morning
Podcasts by Andrew Huberman and Steven Bartlett
Reading a mix of fiction and non-fiction any given day
Spending time in various local communities
Solo-hiking
Having meaningful 1:1 coaching sessions

Your energy is your best indicator. Use this to determine your happy zone.

No single event will keep you happy forever

People hold onto the idea that there’s something out there that will make them happy forever. No single thing can do that.

Understand that happiness is a combination of experiences. Some of these are short-term experiences (e.g., reading) and others are long-term (e.g., relationships). Some are experimental, like starting a business venture and others are permanent, like working at a company for 5+ years.

Happiness is not a linear journey. The sooner we accept that it is a wonky path, the sooner we will clear our head of the delusions we have been taught around happiness.

Finding and acknowledging happiness helps you make better, saner decisions.

Be intentional about happiness. Seek your truth.

Two Percent Lab

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